Would the Real Tony DiNozzo Please Stand Up
by Nuthin'butTribble
Summary: Tony has based his career and life on being underestimated. His plan worked too well. When a team becomes as close as family, it makes the sting of unintentional betrayal all the more potent. When he finally reaches his limit, the truth is revealed. Now, the team must fix what has been damaged by time, distance, and secrets. Tag: 8.05 Dead Air
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **This story will have spoilers to episodes prior to, and including 8.05 "Dead Air". I, like many people, was appalled by the actions of certain members of Team Gibbs. That said, I am NOT going to bash those characters. I adore each character in the show.

Tony is very under-appreciated. I truly believe that he is far smarter than he shows people. Bear in mind that it takes an excellent memory to remember all those movie lines, and apply them to cases. Like Tony, I myself have an excellent memory for what I read and hear. I also do my best work when multi-tasking, and while it may seem like I have a short attention span, I am in fact absorbing nearly everything that goes on around me. When I was younger, I would often cook, study for an exam, talk on the phone, and listen to music at the same time. I never burnt the food, did pass the exams, followed the conversation without confusion, and enjoyed the music. In various episodes of NCIS, you will notice that Tony does the same thing. "He does his best work at night," is also very true with those of us who have trouble keeping regular sleeping hours. The eidetic memory is just poetic licence. It is after all a fanFICTION. If I followed the script of the show exactly, this story would be boring.

Before you criticize my characterization of Tony, please bear in mind that there are people with abilities like these. That said, thank you for taking the time to read my work. Reviews are welcome and appreciated.

* * *

**Would the Real Tony DiNozzo Please Stand Up**

It took a lot to get Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo angry. What made this moment all the more terrifying for anyone who knew him, was the fact that his eyes, the only true sign of his feelings, were showing that he wasn't merely angry…he was livid.

A joke…that's what they'd called it, a joke. The worst part was that Ziva and McGee didn't even realize just what they had done. They were Federal Agents for crying out loud. Their FLETC Training taught them that you NEVER leave your partner without back-up.

The suburbs could hide a multitude of sins, as any beat cop could tell you. The fact that Tony was under-cover in suburbia for no more than four hours had no bearing whatsoever on his needing back-up. Murder could happen in a second; all it would take is one word out of place, an expression on his face changing, or even him seeing the wrong thing and he would be dead.

Tony might joke during their down time, or even on the job to relieve tension as needed, but he had never left a partner without back-up. Not even when he first began to suspect Danny of being dirty did he do that. Besides which, a joke is funny; this was anything but funny.

He knew that they didn't respect him, his position as Senior Field Agent, or even his proven capabilities. He had thought that they at least respected the rules of a Federal Agent in general, and a NCIS Agent in particular, never mind Gibbs' Rules which were a power unto themselves. Apparently, he was mistaken.

Tony walked calmly and silently into NCIS and past Security, McGee and Ziva trailing behind him and looking confused at his silence. He didn't even greet Fred, the security guard, as he usually did.

Fred at least was intelligent enough to realize that Agent DiNozzo, who was the nicest person he ever met, was furious, and didn't want to take his anger out on an innocent victim. Fred simply nodded at the agent, and silently vowed that he would help hide the bodies if necessary. Agent DiNozzo was the only agent who'd bother to bring a lowly security guard a cup of coffee, or soup if he had a cold. He was the only agent to ask about Fred's grandchildren, and he even remembered their names. Yes, he'd help hide a body for that man.

Tony began to walk faster when the elevator came into view, nearly at a jog by the time he reached it. He slapped his hand on the button with more force than was necessary, and slipped between the doors before they were fully opened. He then hit the close button before McGee and Ziva were within six feet of the door. He felt strangely victorious, watching the doors close in their faces.

He rested his aching head against the silver panel by the doors as the elevator began to move. His throat was sore, his head pounding, he was tired and achy. Tony stared into the blurry reflection of his eyes.

When did they cross the line from friends who thought he was a bit dumb, to co-workers who wouldn't care if he died?

He supposed for Ziva it began when he was investigating Michael Rivkin on Gibb's orders. For McGee, he couldn't begin to guess.

While Ziva was missing, he spent a lot of his time off just reconnecting with Tim. He thought they were friends, brothers even. They had played video games, watched movies together, even played basketball. What changed? When?

With a ding the doors slid open revealing Gibbs, coffee in hand. Gibbs arched a brow and said nothing.

"Care to join me, Boss," Tony said, stepping back from the doors.

Gibbs entered the elevator, somehow knowing that he wasn't going to like what was about to happen. He hit the 'door close' button the moment he turned around, and hit the stop button a moment later.

Tony stood beside him, head hanging. He glanced quickly at Gibbs, then dropped his eyes again. "I think I screwed up, Boss."

"Were you made?" Gibbs asked. "Did you get the voice prints?"

"No and Yes," Tony mumbled into the hands he was scrubbing over his face.

"Well what makes you think you screwed up then? Sounds to me like you got the job done," the older man stated, frowning at the lost look on Tony's face.

"I don't know what I did that caused this," he said softly. "But I had to have done something." He looked his boss in the face this time. "Ziva, I get. Things haven't been good between us since Rivkin. Somalia changed nothing. She doesn't know or care what I had to do to stay alive until you could kill Saleem. What I don't get," he paused here, and shook his head, "is why McGee doesn't care whether I live or die."

Gibbs froze at that comment, not that it was much of a difference from a moment before. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"They turned it off, Boss. They turned the sound off." Tony's eyes looked watery, though he didn't cry. "If I'd been made, they never would have heard my call for back-up." He sighed here. "What do I do, Boss? I don't want to cause problems with the team."

"Damn it, DiNozzo! YOU aren't the problem!" Gibbs looked annoyed. "The problem is with them, not you!" This was accompanied by a headslap. Gibbs gripped Tony's chin and stared into his eyes. "Never forget this, because I'm not going to repeat myself…You are the best young agent I have ever worked with, and I'm proud of you." He paused then continued, "Apart from Shannon and Kelly, my relationship with you is the one I have put the most effort into. I will not have my hard work damaged by you blaming yourself for this." He patted Tony's cheek, and turned to face the elevator doors.

"Err, thanks, Boss. I love you too," the last part was said skeptically. "So, what now?"

"Now, we go to Abby's lab to get the recording of McGee and David. Maybe that will give you an answer," Gibbs said.

* * *

In Abby's labby…

Zombie Death Apocalypse was blasting out of the speakers, as Abby danced her way from the computer to Major Mass Spec, and back again.

Gibbs grinned at Tony, and the two quietly snuck behind her when she had her back to the door. "Whatcha got for us, Abs," they both said at the same time.

She let out a tiny scream and spun around. "Gibbs! Tony!" she said, punching Tony in the arm.

"What did you do that to me for?" Tony whined, "Gibbs snuck up on you too."

"Yes, but Gibbs is Gibbs," she said matter-of-factly, spinning to face her monitor again, and missing the small flinch Tony gave.

Gibbs, however, did not miss it.

"The comp…" Abby started, before Gibbs interrupted her.

"Hold that thought, Abby," Gibbs said sharply, frowning. "We're borrowing your office." He grabbed Tony's arm gently, pulling the younger man into the office with him, and then shutting the door. "What was that about?" Gibbs asked.

Both men automatically turned their backs to the window, where Abby was shamelessly attempting to read their lips.

"What are you talking about, Gibbs?" Tony asked, genuinely confused.

Gibbs stared at him, and arched a brow, waiting.

"What?" Tony asked again, frustrated.

"Something Abby said upset you. What was it, and why?" Gibbs said, continuing to stare at him.

Tony sighed, and rubbed the back of his head. "She was comparing us."

"What?"

"When you were gone on your…hiatus," Tony said, Gibbs brow arching at the last word, "Everyone, 'cept Ducky and Palmer, kept saying _You're not Gibbs_, or _Gibbs wouldn't do it that way_. Abby just punched me, and then said that she wouldn't do it to you because you're you." He paused and continued, "It just brought back some bad memories. Not her fault."

Gibbs looked frustrated. "You will tell me the rest later, Tony." He looked annoyed, "I have a feeling that I won't like it, but I need to know it."

"Yes, Boss," Tony said quietly.

"Come on," Gibbs said, and threw his ever-present cup of coffee in the trash, "Abby's waiting on us, and I'm out of coffee."

"On your six, Boss!" Tony followed him out into the main lab, where Abby was pouting slightly.

"As I was going to say," she said, "The computer is still running the voice prints."

"Not what we need," Gibbs said. "I need you to give DiNozzo a disc-thumb-thing with all the recordings of McGee and David's voices from today."

"Why would you need that?" Abby asked frowning.

"We just need to check it for something, and we need you focused on the voice prints, so I'll take care of this," Tony said, throwing his best grin at her.

Abby's face softened. "Anything for my Italian Stallion, and Silver Fox." Tony blushed, unused to the nickname she had given him when they first met. Back then it had been an insult, but now it was a mark of how far they'd come. "I'll get you the recordings ASAP," she said.

"Thanks, Abs," they said together, and kissed her cheeks at the same time. Abby beamed.

"DiNozzo! With me!"

"Where're we going, Boss?" he asked.

"Coffee," Gibbs said as though it were obvious, which it probably was.

* * *

At the diner…

"Speak, DiNozzo," Gibbs said, as they seated themselves in a red vinyl booth.

"You know I'm not a dog, right, Boss? Even if Fornell does call me your Loyal St. Bernard. I don't really think I'm the St. Bernard type, maybe a Labrador. They are loyal, hardworking, smart, and are good looking animals…" Tony rambled.

"Naw, you're more of a boxer…they drool," Gibbs said.

"Hey!" Tony exclaimed, but before he could say anything else the waitress arrived.

"You want your usual coffee, honey," she said to Gibbs.

He nodded and said, "Better bring some blueberry pie with it. We might be here a while."

"I'll just bring a pot then, shall I," she said, not waiting for an answer before turning to Tony, "You want coffee too, handsome?"

"Do you have any hazelnut creamer?" Tony asked. When she shook her head, he looked disappointed and said, "I'll make do with the regular creamer. Oh, and I'll have a piece of apple pie a la mode, please Beatrice," Tony said, checking her nametag, and then grinned up at her.

"Sure thing, Sweetie," she said smiling at him.

"She's probably older than me, DiNozzo," Gibbs said.

"I was just trying to brighten her day, not date her, Boss," Tony said. "I used to wait tables in college. I hated that job, I was always more tired after shift than after football practice and laps put together."

"I know," Gibbs said succinctly.

"You do?"

"Yep. I did a background check on ya' after you arrested me," Gibbs said.

Beatrice arrived just then, and said as she served them their pie and coffee, "I thought you were a Fed, Honey."

"I am," Gibbs replied. "Was undercover."

"Ah-huh. Is that all gentlemen?" she asked.

"Yep." Gibbs turned to Tony, as the waitress walked away. "Eat your pie, and tell me what happened when I was…on hiatus." He grimaced.

"I gotta say, yer confusing me, Boss," Tony said. "Do you want me to eat, or talk? I can talk with my mouth full if you're desperate." Gibbs glared. "Right, your hiatus," Tony said, then sighed. He took a bite of pie while he thought. "You said _You'll do_. What does that even mean, Boss? Does it mean, 'you're my only option', 'you're barely tolerable', or 'you passed muster and I trust you'?"

Gibbs interrupted here. "It meant that I trust you, I'm proud of you, and you're ready." He sighed. "I was in a bad place, and should've taken the time to tell you properly."

Tony stared at him in shock. "Really?" he asked, sounding a lot like a little boy. "I know. You don't say anything you don't mean." Gibbs nodded in approval. "So, um… I didn't know what you meant, and uh…they didn't either. Ziva thought she could run the team better, and thought I was a joke. She'd ignore orders in the office and the field. I'd have to practically yell at her to get her to do anything." He paused. "McGee began to think he was smarter than me around the same time, after all, I _only _have a Phys Ed degree." Both men snorted at this.

"I thought I taught him to do his research and never assume," Gibbs said. "If he had, he'd know that you're a genius."

"Not a genius," Tony said blushing. "I have an eidetic memory. That's different."

"Genius is easier for most people to understand. 'Sides, you graduated from RIMA when you were fifteen," Gibbs said.

* * *

_July 19, 1980 (Tony was twelve years old)_

_Hotel on Maui…_

_Tony was watching a James Bond movie with Roger Moore and sighing intermittently. He was SO tired of being stuck in the hotel room instead of being on the beach. He hadn't even been on the beach once since they arrived five days before_

_His dad left that morning for a business meeting. Yeah right. His dad's business meeting was the beautiful 25 year old brunette daughter of Sam Worthing, oil tycoon. Just because he pretended to ignore his dad's business lectures, doesn't mean that he actually did. He idly wondered if she'd be his next step-mom. His last one, Rhoda, only lasted a year and a half, but at least she liked kids. She actually remembered his birthday, something his Dad didn't even do. Rhoda's gifts to him the past two years were the only ones he'd had since his mom died._

_He'd been stuck in here all day, and it was almost eight o'clock at night. His dad had promised to get him for dinner in the hotel's restaurant._

_Two hours later, he finally called room service for himself. It was his birthday, he'd just splurge. It could be his dad's birthday gifts for the past four years. So, he got the lobster bisque, surf and turf of lobster and filet mignon, and cherries jubilee for dessert. All the most expensive items on the menu._

_It was his bad luck that he had a mild allergic reaction to one of the foods. By morning, he'd developed an itchy rash that covered most of his body._

_He continued ordering the most expensive foods on the menu during the next day. Going out in public with a rash was tantamount to breaking one of the Ten Commandments. Thou shalt not be seen in public looking less than flawless, sounded about right._

_The third day (second morning) of being alone in the hotel was just as boring, until around 11:00, when his dad showed up._

_Their "loving reunion" was anything but loving. The most memorable moments included…_

_Senior: "Meet your new step-mother. This is Rachel." _

_Senior: "How could you be so irresponsible and spend this much money, Junior?"_

_Tony: "How could you be so irresponsible as to forget your kid when you left the state…Senior?"_

_Senior: "I am your father, and you will address me with respect."_

_Tony: "What a joke! The butler was more of a father to me than you ever were."_

_Rachel: "Goodness, what is that horrible blotchy red thing all over you."_

_Tony: "It's my allergic reaction to my new step-mom."_

_Rachel: "Children really are disgusting creatures, aren't they."_

_Tony: "This isn't disgusting. Just wait until I come inside after playing ball, sweaty, muddy, and occasionally bloody too."_

_Rachel: "Tony, darling, I can't possibly live with such filth. Why don't we send him to boarding school?"_

_Senior: "An excellent idea, Darling, I'll look into it immediately."_

_Tony: "Oh, what an excellent father you are! Sending your only kid away for a woman you'll only be married to for two years…no, make that one year. This one has all the brains of a paramecium."_

_Rachel: "Tony, darling, he just insulted me. You can't let him stand there and insult me."_

_By the end of the afternoon, Tony was disowned, on a plane for Rhode Island, angrier than he'd ever been before, and with a black eye and matching handprints on his upper arms._

* * *

_October 31, 1980_

_Rhode Island Military Academy…_

"_I just don't get it, Sir. All his school records from before show incompletes, and behavioral problems; but since Anthony DiNozzo has been here, he's been a model student and cadet," the drill instructor said to the Commandant._

_The Commandant just sighed. "Once you've been here a while, you'll be used to kids like him. He got no guidance or structure at home. Rewards for good behavior were non-existent. His own father was unreachable when we tried to notify him about Anthony's getting sick after being strung up on the flag pole. The man is a neglectful father at best, if not downright abusive."_

"_You don't understand, sir. This kid isn't just doing better in school. He's finished all of his class assignments for the next two years!"_

* * *

_May 1984 (Tony was fifteen)_

_Rhode Island Military Academy…_

"_DiNozzo, Anthony Jr. Class Valedictorian!"_

_Tony walked up to receive his diploma, already knowing that the polite clapping that he was hearing wasn't from his father or latest step-mother. The piercing whistle, however, was definitely from his basketball coach._

* * *

_August 1984_

_Ohio State University…_

"_Welcome to Ohio State, Tony!" The Dean said cheerfully. "Are you sure you want to try for a TRIPLE major, after all, most people struggle with a double major."_

"_I can do it, sir," Tony said eagerly._

"_I don't doubt that, son, having seen your record," the Dean said, "I just don't want you to burn yourself out."_

"_I won't," Tony interjected._

"_Very well. What majors were you wanting to take?" the Dean asked._

"_Phys Ed., Psychology, and Criminology."_

_An hour later…_

"_Sir, is it even possible for a sixteen year old to get three degrees, and still play basketball?" the secretary asked._

"_If any sixteen year old can, it would be that one. He's a genius, with determination that I've never seen before," the Dean replied._

* * *

Back in the diner…

"Back to McGee and David," Gibbs said, re-directing the conversation, "What else did they do?"

"You mean besides ignoring me, treating me like I'm stupid, not doing their paperwork and leaving me to finish it in addition to my own as Senior Field Agent and Acting Team Leader? They might have also been bad-mouthing me to Abby, other teams, anyone who would listen really. They even insulted me to witnesses and victims a few times," Tony said. "I should have written them up for it really, but I knew they missed you, so let them off with verbal warnings only."

Gibbs glared. "Ya' think, DiNozzo!"

"Anyway," Tony continued, "Abby just missed you, and believed what they told her about me being too hard on them." He smiled a bit. "Palmer and Ducky were great though. Ducky would make me come down for a cup of tea, whenever he saw the stress was getting to me. And Palmer, he just became my best friend while you were gone. He'd talk about the cases with me whenever we hit a roadblock. When we weren't on call, I'd still go in to the office most of the time, but Palmer would make me take some time off by asking me to help him move or be his wingman at a club."

Gibbs let out a small smile. "He did good," Gibbs said. He turned to the waitress at the bar, "Can I get a cup to go, and the tab?"

"Sure thing, Hon. Be right there," she replied.

* * *

Gibbs Office, aka the NCIS elevator…

"Go down to Abby and find…" Gibbs began.

"…out if she has a match on the voice print yet," Tony finished for him.

"Then you get…" Gibbs continued.

"…up to the bullpen to update you," Tony said.

"Nooo," Gibbs drew it out, "You get down to Ducky, and get checked out. You sound like Mike Franks."

"Hey!" Tony exclaimed, proving Gibbs' point when it came out as a croak.

"Now, DiNozzo!" Gibbs said, exiting the elevator.

"On it Boss!" Tony half croaked, half squeaked.

The doors closed between them, and Tony hung his head. He still hadn't looked at the files Abby had given him. The files that would show if McGee and Ziva had lied about turning off the radio, or if they really had left him without backup.

He felt nauseous, like he had after Danny admitted to getting kickbacks. With a 'ding' the doors opened, and, bypassing Abby's lab, he dashed into the men's room, leant over a toilet was sick. He didn't think he could take another betrayal like that.

Tony finally left the bathroom, still feeling a bit ill and shaky.

"Hey, Abs," he said hoarsely, walking into her lab. He gave her a tremulous smile.

Abby spun to face him. "Tony, where's my Caf-pow?" she said then froze, noticing how pale he was. "Tony, you don't look so good. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Abby. Have you got a match on the voice print?"

"Here," she said handing him her half-empty Caf-pow. "I think you need this more than I do right now. Just let the cherry ethyl propionate coat your throat. You'll be all right."

"Wow. I forgot how strong that stuff is," Tony said.

* * *

_November 2001_

_Gibbs house…_

_Tony was staying with Gibbs, because Wendy had left him at the altar and kicked him out of their condo. Abby had finally begun to warm up to him, and was over for lunch, while Gibbs was helping Fornell move out of his house. It seems that Gibbs' ex-wife Diane, Fornell's current wife, was kicking the FBI Agent out._

"_Have you ever had a Caf-pow?" Abby asked, smiling at Tony and waving a plastic cup in his face._

"_No," he said, eyeing the cup. "What's in it?"_

"_Cherry ethyl propionate," she replied. "I tested it with Major Mass Spec."_

_He took a hesitant sip from the straw then declared, "Hey! That's pretty good!"_

_When Gibbs got home three hours later, his living room was practically destroyed, with Caf-pow cups littering the floor. Tony and Abby were jumping up and down on his couch, each with another cup in hand._

"_What the hell is going on here?"Gibbs shouted over the music of Vampyre's Kiss, Abby's latest favorite band._

_Tony and Abby both froze, looking sheepish. Meanwhile, Gibbs made his was over to the stereo and turned it off._

"_Uh, Boss," Tony said, "I can explain." At Gibbs glare, he amended, "No, I mean I can clean it up."_

"_Abs," Gibbs said, turning to the Goth, "Do you want your first head slap?" When she shook her head, he continued, "Home. Now. Abby."_

"_Yes, Sir, Mr. Bossman, Sir," she said saluting. She jumped off the couch, and grabbed her boots, scurrying towards the door._

"_Abby," Gibbs said, turning to face her, "Don't call me 'sir'." He gave her a small smile._

_She left, and Tony felt the tension in the room rise. "Erm…Boss, I'm really sorry about the mess."_

"_Uh-huh," Gibbs said, "Get off the couch."_

_Tony jumped off, landing on a Caf-pow cup, slipping on it and falling to the floor. "Ow!" he complained, getting up and rubbing his butt._

"_Clean up this mess," Gibbs said. "And when you're done, you can just sit there, and try not to get into trouble."_

_Tony grinned sheepishly._

"_You are never staying here again," Gibbs muttered, heading for the kitchen to get some coffee._


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: **Thank you everyone who reviewed. I love getting feedback.

I apologize if the story seems to jump around a bit. I'm not typing out whole scenes from the episode. That's a bit too much like plagiarism for me. A knowledge of the episode "Dead Air" is highly recommended.

* * *

Autopsy…

Ducky was seated at his desk, writing a report for Gibbs. There was certainly no rush on it. Gibbs had already had a verbal report. The paper one was simply for their files.

"Hiya, Ducky!" Tony said, entering autopsy, grinning.

"Anthony," the elderly doctor greeted. "What brings you down here? Jethro has already heard my report." Ducky stared at the young man expectantly.

"Hey, where's the Autopsy Gremlin…err…Jimmy, I mean," Tony said.

"He has an exam," Ducky said, sounding a bit frustrated. "Now, why are you here? And no more procrastinating, my dear boy. I am well aware of your ability to prevaricate."

"Err," Tony paused, and began to cough violenty.

"Oh, my…" Ducky said worriedly, rushing forward. "Do sit down, Anthony. That cough sounds nasty."

Tony finally stopped coughing. "Gibbs told me to get checked out," he said hoarsely.

"I see," Ducky said, ushering Tony to the recently vacated chair by the desk. "Have you been feeling well, other than that? Have you had any other symptoms?"

"No," Tony said, ignoring the nausea and headache from before, certain that they had nothing to do with his current malady. "Just the sore throat and occasional coughing."

"Hmm," the older man said, examining Tony's throat. After the exam, he continued, "It seems to be just some mild irritation from talking so much. I do suggest that you rest your voice as much as possible before it gets worse."

"Thanks, Ducky," Tony said.

"Do you have time for a cup of tea, my dear boy," Ducky said. "It would probably help your throat."

"Not right now Ducky," Tony said, "Domestic Terrorism case, you know."

"Another time, perhaps," Ducky said, as Tony walked out of autopsy. "Perhaps I'll just…" Ducky muttered, then smiled and picked up the phone.

"Mr. Palmer," he greeted. "How did your exam go?...I see…Well done, Mr. Palmer…Perhaps you could do me a favor before going to see Miss Slater…Would you be so kind as to pick up some chamomile tea with honey for Anthony?"

* * *

The bullpen…

"Jihihimmy…" Tony greeted, half chuckling the name out, "What are you doing here on your day off?" Tony was on his way to interrogate Dieter Johansson when he nearly ran into Jimmy exiting the elevator.

"Hi, Tony." Jimmy grinned at his friend. "Doctor Mallard asked me to pick up some tea for you. I, uh, wasn't really sure if he meant tea bags, tea leaves, or already brewed tea, so I picked up some of each, and a bottle of honey to sweeten it." With that he handed Tony a plastic bag and a cup with steam wafting from the mouth hole.

"Erm…" Tony stared into the bag, "Thanks, Black Lung." He pulled out a tin.

"That's the loose tea," Jimmy commented. Tony tucked the tin into his elbow, and pulled out a box. "That would be the tea bags," Jimmy continued. The tea bags joined the tin in the crook of his elbow, and Tony pulled out a bottle of honey. "And that's the honey," Jimmy said, beaming, "I got the bear shaped bottle, because it always makes me think of when I was a kid. Mom always got the bear for me because I wouldn't use honey if it came from any other bottle."

"My mom never bought honey…or much of anything for me really. She did buy me sailor suits, but anything else she'd have the housekeeper buy, or hire a personal shopper," Tony said. "I didn't even know that they made bottles shaped like a bear." He was still staring at the bottle, seemingly fascinated by it. He pulled his eyes away long enough to grin at Jimmy. "Thanks again, Black Lung." He clapped Jimmy on the shoulder, nearly dropping his tea in the process. "Movie night is tomorrow. DiNozzo theater is showing 'Pulp Fiction'."

"Sounds good, Tony," Jimmy said. "Breena and I will bring the popcorn."

"Abby will bring dessert, so be prepared for her infamous Black Magic Cupcakes," Tony said, turning and heading to his desk with his tea.

"Awesome," Jimmy muttered, grinning as he entered the elevator.

After dumping his load of tea on his desk and gently setting down the steaming cup, Tony headed towards interrogation.

"It's about time," Gibbs said. "Did you get lost on the way again?" he asked, referring to Tony winding up in autopsy by mistake during his first week at NCIS. Fortunately, on that occasion, Ducky was happy to point the new agent in the right direction.

"How are we going to work this, Boss?" Tony asked. "Bad cop, bored cop?"

"Nope." Gibbs grinned. "You're going to warm him up for me. Get him off guard by using DiNozzo method #18."

"Boss…" Tony whined, receiving a headslap for it.

"Look at it this way, DiNozzo," Gibbs said, "You don't even have to act."

"Sick cop, bad cop just isn't as much fun," Tony said, turning and pausing before entering the interrogation room.

Tony's voice failing almost totally was not actually a part of the plan, though both agents went with it.

* * *

"Oh, my dear boy," Ducky said, entering the bullpen, "When will you start listening to me? I did tell you to rest your voice as much as possible."

"Sorry, Ducky," Tony wheezed.

A few minutes later, when Ducky suggested that he refrain from talking for the next 24 hours, Tony just knew that his team would make his life hell. In fact, Ducky had barely finished the sentence when Ziva began to laugh. Tony could see the humor in it, even if he didn't like it. When Ducky then quoted "Top Gun", he knew it wouldn't just be his team teasing him. Ducky was the last teammate he'd expect to tease him, and Balboa's team wasn't as nice as Ducky.

While Ziva would be going undercover as herself with Gibbs and McGee as backup, Tony would be staying at the office, ostensibly to rest his voice, and research leads on where the bomb might be planted. In actuality, he would be listening to the audio file that Abby gave him.

* * *

_Audio file…_

_A car door slams._

_Ziva: "I cannot believe that Tony just decided that he was going to be the one undercover."_

_Tim: "He didn't even bother asking us our opinions."_

_Ziva: "He really loves to hear himself talk, does he not, McGee?"_

_Both laughed._

_Ziva: "I'm sure that is the real reason he is undercover."_

_Tim: "Yeah. Either one of us would have been just as good undercover, probably even better…I at least could pass as a potential homeowner. There is no way anyone could believe that TONY could afford a house in this neighborhood. "_

_Ziva: "Exactly! He is so immature. There is no way he pass as an actual professor as Professor of…what was it again?"_

_Tim: "Professor of Movie History."_

_Ziva: "That is it! Although he does know quite a lot about movies."_

_Both laugh again._

_Ziva: "I think I would have made a decent buyer. I could have at least said I was a new employee at the Israeli Embassy."_

_Time lapse._

_Tim: "Did Tony just quote 'The Money Pit'?"_

_Ziva: "What is a money pit?"_

_Tim: "Never mind." Muttering, "I didn't know he'd even seen that movie."_

_Time lapse._

_Ziva: "Did Tony just ask about elementary schools?"_

_Tim: "We had to have heard that wrong. No way is he father material."_

_Time lapse._

_Tim: "How long can Tony stand to listen to this guy talk about dry rot?"_

_Ziva: "Do we have to keep listening to this? The only thing I have learned is that Tony somehow knows the difference between latex and water-based paints."_

_Tim: "I guess we can turn off the sound. It's not like anything is going to happen. This is the suburbs, after all."_

_Ziva: "He is over halfway done."_

_Tim: "Ahh, silence. That's much better."_

* * *

Tony had to stop listening at this point. He ripped off his headphones and threw them across his desk. It wasn't as bad as he'd thought, but it also wasn't as good as he'd hoped. At least they weren't malicious, and they didn't hate him.

He also now had the beginnings of a plan…no wait…make that the beginnings of The Plan. He grinned and leaned back in his chair.

Several hours later…

The team had Zack Nelson cooling his heels in interrogation while they were brainstorming how to crack him.

"We need to search his house," Ziva said. "Without his rifle or the deer urine, we have no proof that he killed Gator."

"We can't get a search warrant based on what we have now," McGee said.

"DiNozzo! Pay attention." Gibbs headslapped Tony as he walked past.

Tony grinned and grabbed something off his desk. "I think I know how we can break him." He grinned smugly and held up the box of chamomile tea. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Boss?"

"Yeah," Gibbs said, "We need a rifle." He pat Tony on the cheek. "Good job, DiNozzo. That's why I keep you around."

"Thank you, Boss."

"What are you waiting for?" Gibbs said. "McGee…"

"Get a rifle like Nelson's from Abby," he finished, heading for the elevator.

"Ziva…" Gibbs continued.

Ziva followed McGee, tossing over her shoulder, "Go to the hospital to check on Haskell's release."

"DiNozzo…" Gibbs said, turning to the last member of his team.

"Brew the tea, and pour it into an evidence jar. On it, Boss," Tony said.

"Dinozzo," Gibbs got his attention. "Brew some for yourself while you're at it."

"Yes, Boss," Tony replied, heading for the break room.

Tony and McGee shared a moment of brotherhood when Tony drank the tea from the evidence jar, shocking Nelson. Tony had missed moments like that in recent months.

* * *

At the park…

When Tony said that he missed the old Ziva, he wasn't referring to the fact that he used to have feelings for her. He actually meant that he missed their old banter and friendship. When she protected him from the blast of the bomb, he felt like their relationship might not have changed that much since their first undercover assignment as assassins.

He didn't often panic, but when she implied that he was interested in her, he did. Sure, she was beautiful, smart, funny, and one of the most important people in his life, but he didn't want to date her or anything. He rather liked having all of his body parts attached, and he had a feeling that if he ever did date her, he'd wind up in pieces at some point.

"That's just my knee," was his gut reaction response.

The impromptu game of catch only strengthened his feelings that nothing had changed.

* * *

NCIS sedan…

Tony had let down his guard after the game, and was now mentally calling himself and idiot in every language he knew. English, Spanish, Italian, French…

Upon McGee teasing her for her ability to play baseball, Ziva said, "_Frankly, my dear_, _I don't give a damn_, what you think," she finished.

Ziva finally got her 'Gone with the Wind' quote, then continued, "_I find your lack of faith disturbing_." They both turned to him, waiting for him to what movies they were from.

He struggled to keep from blurting out, 'Star Wars'.

Then McGee turned to him and said, "Don't let Ziva get you down, Tony. _Always look on the bright side of life_."

It took him a moment, then realized it was from 'Life of Brian'.

And so it went on. After the first five minutes it got old, and he was never more grateful than when Gibbs said, "If you both don't shut up, I'll headslap you so hard that your grandchildren will feel it!"

To which Tim and Ziva responded in unison, "_As you wish_."

Tony started banging his head on the back of the passenger seat. They had to use 'The Princess Bride'.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **Please read... There are no set pairings in this story.

* * *

Tony leaned back in his chair, feet on his desk, ankles crossed. He grinned smugly as he read through his proposal for Vance. The fact that it had been signed by the newest NCIS psychologist was just a bonus. No one knew that he knew Kate's sister, Dr. Rachel Cranston, quite well.

* * *

_June 2004 (Two weeks after Kate's funeral)_

_Tony's apartment…_

_"Quiet, Toni," Tony hushed the small dog as he slipped in the door. "I know you keep expecting her to come get you, but Katie's gone." He picked up the small yapping dog. "You got to be quiet, Toni. My building doesn't allow pets."_

_No sooner did he say that when there was a pounding on his door._

_He quickly shut Toni in his office/book room, and went to answer the door._

_"Hi," Tony greeted his apartment manager with a grin._

_"There's a dog in here," the pudgy man said grimly._

_"Yeah," Tony said, unable to deny the fact that there was yapping coming from the back room. "Sorry about that. I'm finding her a home. She belonged to…" he cleared his throat, blinking his eyes furiously, "to Katie, my big sister. Katie died two weeks ago, and…"_

_"I don't give a damn what happened. The dog is gone by noon tomorrow, or you are gone. Is that clear," the manager snapped._

_"Yeah," Tony said sadly, "yeah, that's clear."_

_After closing the door, he went to his office, where he sat in his desk chair. Toni promptly leapt onto his lap and made herself comfortable. He smiled and pet the dog before opening a drawer in his desk, pulling out a black address book. He'd hoped he'd never need the number he was about to use._

_He grabbed the phone and dialed. After the second ring, a woman answered._

_"Hi," Tony greeted. "Is this Rachel Cranston?"_

_"Yes," came the feminine reply._

_"This is Tony DiNozzo…" he paused when she interrupted him. "Oh, you've heard of me," he said, laughing embarrassedly. "In my defense, whatever Kate told you about me is probably only half true. I might have implied a lot of things that weren't entirely true."_

_He listened to her speak for a while, "No, ma'am, I didn't date a woman named Bambi. I only told Kate that because I didn't want to admit that I had nothing better to do over the weekend than watch James Bond. I did watch the one with a character named Bambi in it that weekend." He rubbed Toni, and said, "Look, the reason I called was because… I've been taking care of Katie's dog, Toni, since she…" he cleared his throat, "died, and my apartment manager is threatening to evict me if she isn't gone by noon tomorrow." He sighed heavily. "I can't just leave her at a shelter. Kate would kill me. I'd keep her if I could, but I can't."_

_"You do realize that I live in Florida right now?" was Rachel's reply._

_"I have tomorrow off," Tony said, "If you are willing to take Toni, I can fly down with her tomorrow to bring her to you."_

_"You'd fly all that way to deliver Kate's dog to me? Plane tickets aren't cheap, are you sure you want to do this?" Rachel asked skeptically._

_"For Kate, I'd do anything," Tony said._

* * *

_The next morning_

_Miami, Florida…_

_Tony climbed out of his rental car in front of a large house. Across the street some kids were running through sprinklers in a front yard. Two houses down, a man was mowing a lawn. The house beyond that had a woman herding three girls in soccer uniforms into a minivan._

_"Well, Toni," he said to the dog who hopped out after him, "We're not in DC anymore." He clasped the end of her pink leash tightly in one sweaty hand, as he walked up to the blue door of the house. He knocked quickly, and nervously rubbed his empty hand down the side of his slacks._

_"Hi," he said, when the door opened suddenly, and instead of the woman he expected, he saw a princess. "I'm here to see your Mom, Princess Belle," he said to the little girl, and grinned._

_She giggled at him then yelled, "Mommy!"_

_Somewhere in the house he could hear someone yell, "Coming." A minute later she came into view from down the hall, and for a moment he couldn't breathe. She looked so much like Kate. "Hi," the woman said._

_"Hi," he rasped, then licked his lips nervously, wondering why his throat was suddenly dry. "I'm Tony," he said._

_"Oh my…" she said, trailing off. She suddenly stepped forward and crushed him in a hug, and he found himself struggling not to cry. "It's so wonderful to see you," she said as she stepped back. "I didn't think you'd be here for a few more hours at least."_

_"I got an early flight," Tony said. "Uh, this is Toni, the dog."_

_Belle squealed. "Can I play with him?"_

_"It's a girl dog," Tony said, "and of course you can." He handed her the leash, unprepared for her to launch herself at his knees and hug him._

_"Thank you!" she squealed. She ran into the house, leash in hand and Toni racing along beside her._

_Tony looked at her mother in shock, before shaking himself. "I can get her things from the car," he said, half turning to do it._

_"It can wait," Rachel said. "Come in, please. I'm sure you must be thirsty. This heat gets to everyone when they first arrive." She moved backward into the house, beckoning him to follow her._

_"You have a nice home," Tony said, turning in a full circle. He took in the papers with crayon drawings that were scattered on a coffee table, and the kids' movie playing on the television. There was a basket of laundry on the floor, and stacks of folded towels on the couch._

_Rachel laughed. "My house is a wreck," she said. "I haven't had time to do any cleaning in the past two weeks," she paused, "Kate's death has been hard. Even harder because my husband Dan left us the week before."_

_"I'm sorry," Tony said._

_Rachel smiled sadly. "Ashley and I are managing," she said._

_"Ashley would be Princess Belle?" Tony asked, just to be sure._

_"Yes," she replied._

_"Well, Dan was an idiot," Tony said. "Any man who would leave a woman like you is a fool, and his idiocy is worse for leaving Ashley too."_

* * *

Tony was interrupted from his memories by the sounds of Ziva and Tim playfully arguing. When they noticed him, they got mischievous looks on their faces. Before they could say or do anything, Tony stood up and headed toward the stairs. He wasn't going to give them the chance to goad him any more tonight.

He walked up to Vance's office, grateful for once for the director's workaholic tendencies. He knocked politely on the door.

"Enter," came the terse reply.

Tony opened the door and walked confidently into the room. "Director," he greeted somewhat hoarsely.

"DiNozzo," Vance said, "I'm surprised you didn't just walk in without knocking, like Gibbs."

Tony smiled softly and said, "I'm not Gibbs."

"No, you aren't," Vance said. "I have yet to determine whether or not that is a good thing. What can I do for you?"

"You could start by reading this proposal," Tony said, handing Vance the paper he'd been reading in the bullpen.

"Do you intend to wait?" Vance asked, pulling a toothpick out of his drawer.

"If you don't mind," Tony answered, stifling a cough at the end.

Vance sighed. "Sit," he said resignedly. He flicked the paper slightly and began to read. He started frowning a moment later, then slowly lowered the paper to the desk, and leaned over it. A moment more passed before he began to rub his forehead. "Why this, DiNozzo? Why now? What could they have possibly done to warrant this?"

"I'm glad you asked," Tony said sincerely. He held up a flash drive. "You should listen to this. They admitted to it, which is how I knew to have Abby copy the audio files."

Vance took the drive and plugged it into his computer.

After listening to the audio file, Tony said, "That should have answered the 'Why now?', and explained what they did. As for 'Why this?'…" he laughed bitterly and hoarsely, "…desperate times call for desperate measures. Our team is the best in the agency, and that is largely due to the fact that we are a family in all but blood. I know including Abby, Ducky, and Palmer is probably going to be a bit of a strain on the agency, but I truly believe that they need to be involved."

"What about the cost?" Leon Vance said, leaning back in his chair. "I cannot get SecNav to sign off on an expense report for…this, no matter how necessary it is."

"Aside from time off, the use of two agency sedans, and Dr. Cranston's services, there should be no extra expenses for the agency," Tony said. "I wouldn't have suggested this if I weren't willing to cover the expenses myself."

"You're talking about taking your team to some house in the middle of nowhere for two weeks. You can afford that?" Vance asked skeptically.

Tony chuckled, then hoarsely said, "My mom left me a small trust fund, and when my grandfather died he left me a bit of money as well. I only gained access to his money when I turned thirty-five. It is enough to cover this." After a long moment, where Vance arched a skeptic brow, Tony added, "You do what you have to for family. It's Gibbs' unspoken rule."

"Do you have those rules written down someplace?" Vance muttered.

"No," Tony said, "I have the list memorized."

Vance laughed and said, "Figures." Then he silently signed the proposal. He sighed deeply, handing the paper to Tony. "Good luck."

"Thanks," Tony said, smiling softly. He quietly left the office, and paused at the railing, looking down into the bullpen.

Ziva and Tim were at their desks, working on their reports. Gibbs was nowhere to be seen.

"How did your meeting with Vance go?" Gibbs voice came from slightly behind Tony and to his left.

"You knew about that, huh? I'm not really surprised." Tony turned slightly to face his boss, who had come to stand beside him at the railing. He cleared his throat, before saying, "It went well. He signed off on my plan to handle the McGee and Ziva situation."

"Care to enlighten me," Gibbs said, then drank from his ever-present cup of coffee.

"Not right now, later tonight," Tony said, now watching Ziva and McGee respectively sign and place their reports on Gibbs' desk.

"Your bed has clean sheets," Gibbs said. "Bring the beer and I'll cook the steaks."

"On it, Boss," Tony said, following him toward the stairs.

"Don't forget your tea, Tony," Gibbs threw over his shoulder as they went.

The two junior agents looked up at that statement.

"Boss, our reports are on your desk," McGee said.

"What are you waiting for," Gibbs asked rhetorically. "Go home."

"One thing," Tony wheezed, too much talking taking its toll on his voice. "Pack bags for two weeks, include everything from bathing suits to coats. Be at Gibbs' house by ten am tomorrow."

Gibbs looked at Tony for a moment, then turned to face the other two when Ziva said, "Why would we need bathing suits for a case?"

"You don't," Tony rasped, "We are technically off duty for the next two weeks."

"I would much rather visit my boyfriend in Florida than spend two weeks with you, Tony," Ziva said, grabbing her bag from behind her desk.

Tony stiffened and glared at Ziva. "Probationary Agent David," he addressed her, "You will either be at Gibbs house tomorrow at ten, packed and ready to go, or you will no longer have a place on this team. That is non-negotiable." The last word barely came out at all.

Ziva stared at him with her mouth slightly open for a moment, then said, "You cannot do that!"

Gibbs responded before Tony could. He placed a hand at the back of Tony's neck, and said, "Tony is my Senior Field Agent, and has every right to make decisions like that. I will back him up on this. He isn't required to tell you his reasons right now, but I can assure you that he has damn good ones."

"I will be there," Ziva said, suitably chastised.

McGee just stared at the exchange. He then said, "I'll see you tomorrow at ten."

* * *

The next morning

Gibbs house…

Tony grinned up at the ceiling of 'his' room in Gibbs' house. He loved it. It was the only room with a decent TV. It was also the former master bedroom that Gibbs refused to use.

In fact, Gibbs only moved into an actual bedroom after his hiatus, when he realized that he could no longer sleep only on the couch or beneath his boat. His back just hurt too much. Around the same time he moved into one of the spare bedrooms, he began to clear out the master bedroom specifically for Tony's use.

Tony had never had an 'own' bedroom before. Not one he was allowed to decorate anyway. His college dorm didn't count because he had no money to decorate with, and his apartments were mostly crash pads until he moved to DC. He still didn't count his current apartment because it wasn't the same as having your own place in a parent's house. That was, of course, the root of his feelings toward 'his' room.

He got out of bed, ready to face the day. A half hour later and he was practically bouncing down the stairs.

Tony skidded to a stop in the kitchen. Gibbs was not alone. "Hi Ducky," he greeted. His voice wasn't nearly so raspy this morning.

"Good morning, Anthony," Ducky greeted with a cheerful smile. "I trust you had a restful night."

"Yup," Tony said, heading toward the coffee maker.

"Think again, Tony," Gibbs said, grinning into his own cup of coffee. "Your tea is on the table."

"Bo-oss…" Tony attempted to whine, though it came out more like a squeak.

Gibbs just looked at him.

"On it, Boss," Tony said, only then noticing what else was on the table. Gibbs had set out a bowl and spoon for him, as well as a box of his favorite cereal and a nearly empty jug of milk. He beamed at Gibbs, and actually did bounce his way to the table this time.

Both of the older men openly smiled at Tony's childlike exuberance. For someone who was forty-two, he often behaved more like a small child.

Gibbs knew the reason for his behavior. Tony had never been allowed to be a child before. His own father would never have allowed him to. Gibbs, however, did allow him to, and even encouraged it on some occasions.

Ducky had often thought that the reason the two men connected so well was because Tony craved a father figure, and Gibbs, despite his surly disposition, was still a father at heart. He alone out of the team was aware of Tony's room. He was also aware that Gibbs' will had Tony as his sole beneficiary. Not even Tony was aware of that.

An hour later the first of the team arrived. Abby bounded into the kitchen, Caf-pow in hand.

"Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs," she said. "I need you to help me get my cooler out of the hearse."

"The house has food," Tony said. "What do you have a cooler for?" He paused then said in a near panic, "You are not bringing any evidence or other samples with you."

"Don't be silly." Abby said, "The cooler has my Caf-pow in it."

Tony's jaw fell open, and his eyes widened. "That's a lot of Caf-pow."

Gibbs gave Tony a warning look. "That's a lot of Caf-pow that you are not to touch, Tony," he ordered.

Tony gave the room a 'who me' look.

It took Tony and Gibbs lifting together to move the cooler from the hearse. They loaded it into the trailer attached to a borrowed agency sedan. No sooner had they finished that, than McGee and Ziva arrived together.

"We carpooled," McGee said in explanation as he loaded their suitcases into the trailer.

Gibbs merely grunted in response.

"We are all here now, are we not," Ziva said.

"No, we are not," Tony half wheezed before coughing harshly.

McGee looked to Gibbs. "Who else are we waiting for, Boss?" he asked.

Just then, Palmer and Breena arrived. "Thank you for inviting Breena along, Tony," Jimmy said, exiting the car.

"It's not a problem," Tony said. "Tonight is movie night, after all. I know you can't stay the whole time, Breena, but you are welcome whenever you can be there.

Gibbs let out a harsh whistle. "Palmer, Breena, and Ducky go in Palmer's car," he began.

Palmer interrupted with, "It's actually Breena's car."

Gibbs continued as though nothing had happened, "Ziver, Tim, and Abby, in the sedan without the trailer. Tony and I are in the other one."

Tony grinned. "I'm the only one who knows where we are going, so the rest of you will have to follow us," he said.

"There will be no rest stops," Gibbs said, "so use the bathroom while you still can. We leave in ten minutes."

Both Tony and Abby raced toward the house. Gibbs rubbed his forehead and sighed. _Kids._

* * *

In the sedan…

Tony was smart enough to stock up on coffee for the ride, by filling several travel mugs with it. He did not want to be stuck in a car with Gibbs for two hours, but no coffee.

Luckily for him, the coffee lasted just barely long enough. Gibbs finished the last bit just before turning onto the drive for the house.

Tony was practically bouncing in his seat by the time the car came to a complete stop.

Everyone began to climb out of the cars and stretching their sore muscles. Right as Tony was about to head to the front door, it flew open. A dog raced out of the house, yapping loudly. The dog was followed by a little girl.

"Uncle Tony!" she screamed, and threw herself into his arms.

Tony swung her around, laughing. "Hello, Princess Ashley," he said, setting her on her feet, and bowing with a flourish. "Your humble court jester is at your service.

Ashley giggled.

"Tony!" Rachel came out the door, and down the steps.

Tony grinned, and as soon as she was within reach, he picked her up in a hug and swung her around just as he had her daughter. "Hiya, Rache," he said, shortening her name. He pecked her on her cheek as soon as she was on her feet again.

"Alright, Tony," Rachel said, "I did everything you asked."

"Thanks," he said, letting out a small cough. "I still haven't told the team why we're here. Only Gibbs knows everything." He looked around, and realized that they were being stared at, most likely because he was still hugging her. "I guess introductions are in order." He turned to face the assembled group, leaving one arm draped over her shoulders. "Everyone, this is Dr. Rachel Cranston, new psychologist at NCIS and a good friend, and this is Princess Ashley Cranston," he said, patting the girl on her shoulder. He coughed again.

"Isn't that Toni," Abby asked.

"Of course that is Tony," Ziva said, "He hasn't changed his name in the past five minutes."

"No," Abby said, "not Tony…Toni…Kate's dog."

"Excellent observation skills, as always, Abs," Gibbs said, kneeling to rub the dog's tummy.

Tony smiled. "Rachel is Kate's sister, Abby," he said. He shocked the group into silence.

Gibbs was not shocked, having already noticed the physical similarities.

"Back to the introductions," Tony said. "Abby is the perky Goth, with a Caf-pow addiction. Gibbs is the testy man, petting the dog, and has a coffee addiction."

"Hence the need for three cans of coffee, a back-up coffee maker in case the first one breaks, and a percolator for the same reason," Rachel said.

Tony grinned unrepentantly at his boss. "Ducky is the gentleman with the bow tie, and a penchant for telling interesting stories. Jimmy is the fellow in the glasses with his arm around Breena, the blonde bombshell that he loves. Timmy is the probie with the shocked look on his face, and the laptop bag clutched tightly in his arms…I think Ziva drove, which explains his clutching the bag…Ziva is the deadly assassin with a fondness for paperclips and knives."

"I feel like I already know all of you," Rachel said, smiling at them, "though not just because of the interesting introduction."

She went from person to person, saying a few words, and shaking their hands. In Abby's case, the handshaking was a hug.

After several minutes, Tony asked Gibbs to whistle for him.

"Okay," Tony said hoarsely. "I need tea, Gibbs needs coffee, and Abby needs Caf-pow. Let's move this convention indoors, and when our needs are met, I'll explain why we're all here."


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **I'm sorry about the wait. It's been a rough few months. Hopefully my next chapter will be a bit longer, have more cheerful moments.

Again, I wish to remind everyone that I do not intend to bash any characters. This chapter might seem a bit harsh on some, but it is only the beginning of 'family therapy'. This is a fanFICTION.

Also, Tony got little to no positive attention as a child, and it has an effect on him still. He also wears a mask. His not-too-smart mask has been very effective in the show. He also pretends like the "teasing" doesn't bother him. Some people, when abused emotionally, start hiding any so-called weaknesses. That is, they hide hurt feelings when the people they consider family tease them about a dinner they weren't invited to. Or when they are told one moment that they're irreplaceable, then teased about not being dead. Or treated like they're stupid because their degree isn't good enough. Told they don't deserve the promotion they were just offered. Sent away as a "not-a-punshiment" for following orders. So, Tony hides that those remarks cut deeper than he'd like. He also acts out for attention from Papa Gibbs. It's the only attention Senior ever gave him, and the easiest to get. It's also why he practically begs for compliments from Gibbs.

* * *

Tony sat down on the couch, and eight year old Ashley promptly climbed up next to him and snuggled into his side. Tony simply wrapped his right arm around her, and picked up his steaming mug of chamomile tea with his left hand. He carefully sipped on the hot beverage before setting it down and saying, "Is everyone ready?"

"I am," Gibbs said, sitting down in a wingback chair across from Tony and Ashley. "What about you Duck?" he asked.

Ducky, who was seated in the matching wingback chair, answered, "I am quite ready, Jethro, Anthony."

Rachel walked into the room carrying two steaming mugs of tea, and placed one down on the table between Ducky and Gibbs before seating herself next to Ashley. "I am as well, and Abby should be in here momentarily."

"Here I am," Abby said cheerfully, coming into the room. McGee and Ziva were following in her wake. Abby was clutching her Caf-pow, and upon seeing that almost every seat was already taken, walked up to Gibbs and sat on his lap.

Gibbs rolled his eyes, uncrossed his arms and wrapped them around her waist.

McGee looked a little annoyed at Abby's seat, but after realizing that he'd prefer her on Gibbs' lap to Tony's, felt better about her seat. After all, Gibbs was like her father; Tony…he wasn't sure about.

Tim looked around the room for a seat, and realized that he'd either have to squeeze in next to Rachel, or sit on the floor. If he sat beside Rachel, then Ziva would be on the floor, and his mother would be furious if she found out that he'd let a woman sit on the floor.

Ziva, seeing Tim sit on the floor by Ducky's chair, did sit next to Rachel, though neither she nor McGee had thought about Jimmy and Breena.

When the couple came in from outside where Breena had been on the phone with her dad, they noticed the lack of seats in the room, and did the smart thing. They brought two chairs in from the dining room.

"Are we ready now?" Tony asked.

A chorus of yeses came from everyone with one, "Of course, silly," from the child cuddling against Tony.

Tony smiled at the little girl beside him, and then plugged a flash drive into the laptop on the coffee table in front of him.

He sighed and said, "Things haven't been right with our team…family in a long time. This was just the last straw." With that, he hit play, and Tim and Ziva heard their own voices playing.

Ziva looked confused about why Tony was playing it, but McGee looked mortified, his face turning pink.

When the audio file ended, Abby cried out, "How could you?" and started struggling to get up, but Gibbs held her tightly.

"Abby, calm down," Gibbs said, clearly having trouble holding her in place.

"You-you…traitors!" Abby spat.

"Abby," Ziva said, but before Ziva could do more than address the other woman, Abby snapped.

"NO! You don't get to speak," Abby said, tears smearing her eyeliner.

"Abby," Tony said softly.

The Goth looked at him.

"I'm taking care of it," he said, and after a pause he continued, "My way."

Abby beamed. "I like it when you do things your way, Tony," she said.

"What exactly is going to happen now?" McGee asked.

"Exactly?" Tony said, grinning, "I have no idea. I'm making this up as I go along." His smile dropped off his face here. "Make no mistake, McGee, David. We either fix this now, or you're off the team. I AM your boss…I am second only to Gibbs. As far as the two of you are concerned, even the Director is beneath me on the authority totem pole. This is my show, and I decide when you are trusted again." Tony looked more serious than they had ever seen him before.

Tim gulped.

Tony continued, "You will learn to follow my orders without question. You will learn to respect me for who I am, and not the mask I show everyone else. That apparently means that I will have to explain just who I am to you, since you haven't bothered to find out before this." He nodded to Gibbs.

Gibbs eased Abby off of his lap, and placed her in his seat. He grabbed an old Marine duffle bag from behind the chair and walked over to McGee. "Put all electronics in this bag, now," Gibbs said.

"Welcome to boot camp, DiNozzo style," Tony said.

Tim looked from one man to another, and then dropped his phone and Ipod in the bag. "My laptop and tablet are in the dining room."

Gibbs nodded. "Ziva," he said, turning to the woman.

She dropped in her cell phone.

"Watch and sunglasses too, David," Tony said. "I saw your Israeli friend slip you a package the last time she visited you."

Ziva sighed harshly, and dug into her purse at her feet, pulling out a pouch.

Just as she was about to drop it in the bag, Tony said, "Hand me the pouch." She did, and Tony pulled a pair of sunglasses out. He put them on, and looked around the room. "Hmm, the dining room wall needs to be torn down; there are carpenter ants in it." He tossed the sunglasses and the pouch into the bag.

Ziva removed her watch and threw it in the bag too.

"Abby," Gibbs said. "I'm sorry, but we need your things too."

She threw in her cell phone and Ipod. "My laptop is in the trailer," she said.

He turned to Ducky, who threw his cell phone in without prompting, as did Jimmy.

"You can keep yours, Breena, since you will be coming and going," Tony said. "Gibbs, over here too," he said. He threw in his own phone, and Rachel added hers as well. "Rachel will keep her laptop, as she might need it for our therapy sessions," he continued.

Gibbs tossed his own phone in, then entered the dining room and grabbed the laptop case from the table. He then went out to the trailer and grabbed Abby's laptop from the trailer, and added it to the duffle. Re-entering the house, he said, "Tony informed me that I'd be in charge of this, so don't even think about trying to sneak something out." He dropped the bag none-too-gently on the floor.

McGee and Abby winced.

"You are now mine," Tony said, grinning. "You get up when I say. You run when I say. You work when I say. If I tell you to go jump in a lake, you go out back and jump in the lake."

McGee gulped, remembering his Probie days of dumpster diving.

"Sir, yes, sir," Abby said cheerfully, saluting Tony. She was the only cheerful looking person in the room.

"I do not even understand what we did wrong," Ziva said, looking confused. "What did we do to deserve this?"

"I think our first therapy session should begin now," Rachel said. "Ashley, go watch TV upstairs." Ashley left the room and hurried up the staircase. Rachel then said, "As for what you did…Tim seems to understand. Why don't you explain it to her?"

McGee blushed and stared at his hands. "We broke an agency rule. Never leave a partner without backup. Not to mention, Gibbs' rule: Never screw over your partner. Tony was undercover and we left him without backup. He doesn't trust us anymore, and I don't really blame him," McGee said, "If he had done that to us, we'd be furious."

"I think I understand now," Ziva said, looking a bit embarrassed. "That never occurred to me before."

"I think we need to find out your reasons for what you did," Rachel said. "Your real reasons, not the lies you tell yourself."

"He is always talking and we are tired of it," Ziva said. "That is why we turned off the sound. What other reason could there be?"

"Tell me how you feel about the fact that Tony killed your boyfriend," Rachel said.

"Did he tell you that?" Ziva asked stiffly.

"No, Ziva," she said, "I was given all of your files when I accepted the position as NCIS psychologist, and I read through them last night in preparation. How do you feel about it, Ziva?"

"I am…hurt, and a bit angry," Ziva said. "I am also confused about how Tony could beat Michael in a fight. Michael was Kidon, and even when drunk he should have beaten Tony."

"You've never seen Tony fight for his life," Gibbs said from where he was standing between McGee and Ziva. "He's a good fighter in the ring, but when his life or more importantly, someone else's life is in danger, he becomes someone else. He pushes himself so far past what he does in the ring that he could beat just about anyone in a fight. It's his stubborn nature. He doesn't give up…ever. It's why we're here. Anyone else would have quit after I came back from Mexico, but Tony didn't give up on us. Jen even offered him Team Lead in Rota, but he refused." Gibbs smiled at Tony. "Like I said, he doesn't give up."

McGee looked slightly ill as he was reminded of his cruel words to Tony, following Gibbs return to NCIS.

"Why would Tony feel that he needed to fight Michael? He could have left and talked to me another time," Ziva said.

Tony sighed deeply. "Ziva, I was placing him under arrest, and he attacked me with lethal force. I had no choice."

"There is always a choice!" Ziva said with a sob.

"He was about to stab me with a very long, sharp piece of glass," Tony said softly. "While he was coming at me with it, I told him to stop…not to do it. He was almost on top of me when I finally shot him. If I hadn't done that, it would have been my body that Ducky autopsied."

"You – you were just jealous of him," Ziva said, sounding desperate.

"Ziva," Tony said, "I do love you, just not like that. You are certainly attractive, sexy and lots of fun to flirt with, but I've never been interested in a sexual or romantic relationship with you. At first because you were Ari's sister…"

"How do you know that?" Ziva gasped. "Gibbs would not tell you."

Everyone but Tony, Gibbs and Rachel looked surprised.

Tony sighed. "I'm an investigator, Ziva. I've seen the picture of you and your siblings. It was pretty easy for me to see the man in the boy's face." He paused then continued, "Later on, once I got to know you, it was because I began to look at you as my amazing little sister and intimidating assassin. I was never jealous of Michael, though I did worry that he might be using you."

"Michael wouldn't," Ziva said, openly crying.

"Ziva, he tried to kill me, your co-worker and friend, when I was arresting him. Honestly, I wouldn't have put much past him," Tony said.

Ziva started to sob, and Gibbs sat on the arm of the couch and began to hug her. Ziva buried her face against Gibb's chest and sobbed into him. Gibbs rubbed her back with one hand, and buried his other in her hair.

"Let's take a break from this subject for while, and come back to it later," Rachel said. "Tim, what do you think your reasons were?"

McGee stared at his hands, looking uncomfortable at being the center of attention. "It's just…I thought it was just a joke. It's Tony…no matter what happens to him, he always comes through just fine. So, I figured nothing would happen, and if it did, he'd come through it without any trouble. He's just perfect all the time."

"You sound a bit resentful, Tim," Rachel said, softly.

McGee sighed gustily, and shook his head. "It's just...I can work really hard to find out information for a case, and Tony will just sit around doing practically nothing, but when we give our information to Gibbs, Tony's is always better. Everyone can tell that even if Abby is the favorite, Tony is the perfect one. He can do no wrong where Gibbs is concerned."

"He headslaps me at least five times as often as you and Ziva," Tony said, "I am not perfect, and he knows it."

"It's not just that. You tease me all the time, and no matter what I tease you about, it doesn't bother you," Tim said, nearly whining.

"It doesn't bother me?" Tony said incredulously. "Do you think being teased for _only _having a Phys. Ed degree doesn't bother me? Do you think I like it when I almost never get compliments from Gibbs, when you get them all the time and rub them in my face? Do you think I like it when you tease me about my so-called easy life because I came from a family with money? And constantly tell me how my father is so much better than I am," He sighed heavily. "It does bother me; sometimes it even hurts like I've been stabbed. If I learned anything from my dad besides the fact that I'll never be good enough, it's to never let anyone see a weakness. They'll use it against you," Tony said bitterly. "I don't really think any of you would use things against me if you knew how much it bothers me, but by now it is force of habit to pretend that nothing's wrong."

"Oh," was all McGee could think to say in response. After a moment he said, "I just…get so frustrated sometimes. You seem to be able to get the number of any woman, and I struggle to get to that point. You are the kind of guy who was a popular kid in school. Like the kids who picked on me. Almost anything I can do, you do better, faster and with more style."

"Wait…you think I was popular?" Tony said incredulously. "Up until I was about twelve, I was the smallest kid in my class in every school I ever went to. I was also the rich kid, which meant I had a huge red target on my back. Once I was sent to military school, when I was ten, it didn't get any easier. You have no idea what it's like being in the puny rich kid surrounded by military brats who think you're spoiled rotten. My only 'friends' back then were the teachers, my drill instructor, and my coach. As for the women, I don't use those numbers unless they're a witness. I can't bring myself to date a woman who is only interested in my looks, my supposed wealth, or even my badge. I only did for a few years after my ex-fiancé left me at the altar. I haven't dated women like that since Kate died."

McGee and Ziva both looked surprised at this. Gibbs just looked proud.

"I think we could use a break for a while," Rachel said.

After a moment, everyone got up to unload the trailer.

* * *

Several hours later…

Tony should have expected to be cornered, but he'd been so busy telling everyone what room they'd be staying in, unpacking and organizing his plans for the next few days, that he hadn't thought about it.

"So, Tony," Ziva said, walking in his room without knocking, followed by McGee. "Whose house is this?"

Tony looked up from the notebook he had been writing in at his desk, and said simply, "Out."

"Huh?" McGee said.

"Out," Tony said, "Until you learn to knock and receive permission before entering someone's room."

"That is ridiculous," Ziva said, even as Tim tugged her out by her arm.

A moment later there was a knock on Tony's door. "Enter," he said calmly, shutting the notebook, and turning to face the two entered again, looking a bit sheepish.

"We were just wondering whose house this is," Tim said.

Tony leaned back in his chair slightly, just observing them. Then he said, "This is my house."

"You own a house?" McGee said at the same time as Ziva said, "Why do you have a house?"

Tony smiled slightly. "Yes, I own a house," he said. "I have it because back when I was Team Leader, I needed a retreat where I could be myself, and be accepted. My frat brother Dave had it for a vacation home, but hadn't been here for two years before he loaned me the use of it. I bought it in 2009. Since then, I've been fixing it after Dave's neglect."

"This house is amazing," Tim practically gushed, "What could possibly need to be fixed?"

"You mean besides the carpenter ant damage in the dining room?" Tony asked. "The roof needed to be patched, the stables were a mess, there was a family of bats in the shed out back, and the Jacuzzi had mechanical problems."

"There are stables too?" Ziva asked in shock.

"They aren't in use yet," Tony said. "I have to hire someone who can take care of horses before I buy one for Ashley. That person will also be caretaker as I can't get out here every week."

"You are going to buy Ashley a horse?" Tim asked.

"Do you have to keep repeating things back to me as questions," Tony said, sighing heavily. "I wanted to buy one for her last birthday, but Rachel insisted that I wait until Ashley had some lessons in riding and caring for horses. She finally gave me permission to get her one for Christmas."

"How can you afford all this?" Ziva asked, waving her hand about in a vague manner.

Tony leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. "That really isn't any of your business, but I'll answer it anyway. When my maternal grandfather died, my mother was just twenty, and hadn't met my dad yet. She inherited a quarter of the money he left, the rest going to Uncle Clive, her older brother. When she was pregnant with me, she wrote a will that would place it all in a trust account for me until I was thirty-five, with Uncle Clive and my dad as trustees. My paternal grandfather died when I was sixteen, he did not have a good relationship with my dad, and left his entire estate to me as well. I was unaware of it at all, until the FBI did a background check on me during an op in Philly. Fornell was the person who told me about it. Apparently the lawyers were unable to find me. Most likely because I moved so much."

"Why did you not tell us?" Ziva asked, sitting on the bed in shock.

"I didn't want you to all tease me about it, or expect me to quit," Tony said. "Also I was hazed by the cops in Philadelphia when they found out who my dad was. I didn't want to be hazed at NCIS if word got around about my inheritance."

"The real question is 'Does Gibbs know about the house and money?'" McGee said.

"Are you kidding," Tony said. "Of course he does. He was the first person I called about the inheritance. As for the house, who do you think helped me fix the roof?"

"Did he also help with the Jacuzzi?" McGee said, looking somewhat smug.

"No," Tony said, noticing Tim's expression. "I did that myself."

"And it works?" McGee said in an incredulous tone.

"Yes," Tony said, standing. "If you don't mind," he said, gesturing to the door. "I have to go help Rachel with dinner."

"Maybe I should help instead," Ziva said. "I'm not sure I trust you with cooking."

Tony stiffened. "We are here because _I _lost trust in _you_. I would appreciate it if you'd both stop making fun of my abilities. For the record, I'm Italian. Italians are renowned for their cooking abilities."

He gestured again to the door, and followed the two out of the room.

* * *

In the kitchen…

"Hey, Princess," Tony said, kissing Ashley on the head. She was seated on a stool at the island, humming as she frosted cupcakes.

Abby grinned up at him from her seat beside Ashley. "Ash offered to help me with the cupcakes," she said, "And she has been a wonderful help."

"So, she made you an offer you couldn't refuse," Tony said with a wink.

"Yup."


End file.
